Taste Your Beating Heart
by BrazenMonkey
Summary: Maybe she fell in her own opinion for falling again but with this one kiss, he made her whole again. Still, she could not shake her worries. Had he changed in the course of the time that had passed? Was he still the same? Was she?
1. AN

A/N: Hey you guys, a little explanation before everything starts! I've been writing on this piece for the last week and I wanted to give you lovely people who have showed me so much love by your reviews, alerts, etc. something back, a story that lasted longer than just one chapter.

So here it is, called "Taste Your Beating Heart", a story – of course between Darcy and Loki – about him coming back to her after having been away for almost a year and how she copes with him being back.

Listening, I'd recommend The Hampdens "Forget To Begin", Florence + The Machine "Howl" (which is where I found the inspiration for the title) and Kanye West "Love Lockdown".

If you enjoyed this piece, I'd love to read a review. If you didn't, I'd love to read a review as well, feel free to be honest!


	2. Back

Night fell on the city like a curtain on a show. Even though it was summer and it was not even past 10pm, it was already dark outside.

Dan had come home late from his shift and he was still on duty, only coming home for a chance to see Darcy still awake.

Now dinner was eaten and a silence lay in the air. Darcy took a sip from her glass, mentally chiding herself for drinking wine in the middle of the week. Dan sat across from her, staring into emptiness, lost in thoughts.

Suddenly, he raised his voice.

"You know, how about September?", he asked timidly, trying to sound detached as he ran his hand through his short blond hair.

"September?", Darcy echoed.

"Yeah, you know, moving in together. I think it would be a good time."

She chewed on her bottom lip, feeling as if her heart dropped a few inches further down her chest..

She tried to avoid his glance when she answered: "I don't know. I mean, we shouldn't rush into things, I don't even know about my apartment and I still have to sort out things at... work. Let's just wait, okay?" _Silliest excuse, ever, Darcy._

Dan seemed startled but immediately backed down. "Yeah, sure. Whatever you like, honey."

Darcy suddenly realised how much she hated the fact how often he said 'Yeah'. Or how he had no spine. Or how she could so easily lie to him.

His little pager hummed in his rear pocket and he jumped at the noise. With relief, Darcy thanked destiny for it.

"Damnit, I gotta go. Looks like an emergency at the station. I don't know how long it's going to take, don't wait for me.", he said apologetically.

He got up from his seat and leant over to kiss Darcy good-night. She gave him a halfhearted smile and unconsciously turned her cheek to him instead of letting him kiss her lips.

Dan hesitated shortly, then he took his jacket and gave her another smile.

"I love you, babe.", he said, his voice completely sincere.

Darcy managed to produce a lopsided smile. "Me too."

Then, she was alone.

Her elbows resting on the kitchen table, Darcy buried her face in her hands.

_Great, just great. Go ahead Darce, try to push the boundaries of his patience a little further._

She sighed and got up, trying to occupy herself by cleaning the table.

As she stood by the sink, washing the dishes, she felt shame and self-loath creeping from her stomach over her heart to her head.

Dan was a good man, great even and for over a years now he had been by her side. Patient, loving, such a wonderful man – and she was stringing him along.

With sudden anger, she dropped the plate she had just tried to clean back into the dirty water and her hands grasped the counter. Every woman with half a brain would tie such a wonderful man to herself as fast as she could. And she could not find it in herself to freaking move in with him.

What was it that she missed? _Or rather, who?_

It was then she felt how cold the air suddenly felt, as if her thoughts had commanded him here.

And she didn't need to turn around to know who was to blame for that.

She looked up and in the reflection of the window in front of her, she saw him.

Tall, wiry, grinning as usual, insufferably smug and still handsome, his dark hair in fine waves, his green eyes as sharp as a knife.

"Making merry, Miss Lewis?", the reflection said, a voice like black velvet.

Darcy spun around and stared at him, her cheeks flushed with fury.

"Loki."


	3. Reunion

It was him, no doubt. Even though he wore an attire that would enable him to blend with mortals – a pair of dark pants, a black button-down shirt, a dark green coat, his whole bearing gave away that he was born in nobility, a real Asgardian prince.

He leant on the edge of the table across from Darcy, smirking at her with unhidden rogue.

She squared her shoulders and answered his direct glance without fear.

"What do you want here?", she asked with as much authority as she could produce.

He smirked even wider. "Can't one simply come to visit an old friend? I am sure you have missed me, too."

Darcy angrily clicked her tongue. "An old friend? You are so full of it. We never were _friends,_ Loki. And I can't recall a single thing about you that I would miss.", her voice harsh and cool, trying to deter him.

His grin disappeared and was replaced by a haughtiness very familiar to her, a haughtiness she had always hated.

"Lie to your little companion as much as you choose, dear, but I think you know quite well that you can not lie to me – or yourself, for that matter. And you did miss me."

Darcy gritted her teeth, anger rushing through her. "Shut up. And don't even dare assuming that you know anything about me."

Loki frowned. "Oh, touchy, are we? Funny, how you lack this kind of passion towards your _boyfriend_." The way he pronounced the word made it sound like an insult.

"Shut it!", Darcy interrupted him. As if he had any right to judge her.

"Who do you think you are? Do you really think you have any right showing up here after months and trying to make me feel bad about my life?"

As soon as she had said the last sentence she regretted it. It hurt her how he still was able to push her buttons so easily.

And how she foolishly had fallen for it.

Loki stared into her eyes and his hand reached out to take the one she had been unconsciously pointing at him.

"I think we both know that it is not me who makes you feel bad about your life." His voice was surprisingly soft, almost tender, as if he had sympathy for her.

She lowered her hand, flinching away from the warmth that spread through her fingers by his touch and walked back to the sink, turning her back on him.

"I can't believe I am even talking to you.", she said coolly. "You were gone, for good, without so much as a proper good-bye and now you show up here and act as if nothing happened."

She heard his footsteps on the floor, approaching here.

"Well, enlighten me, what did happen?"

He took place next to her, leaning on the counter, arms crossed, watching her with a motionless face.

Darcy let out an annoyed sigh. "Hm, let me think, after some megalomaniac tried to destroy our world, enslave the whole human race and failed, of course everything was just peachy. And when said megalomaniac abandoned me out of the blue, I felt all fine, didn't bother, carried on with my life and found happiness."

Loki spat out a bitter laugh. "Yes, you moved on very quickly. But this is what you call happiness? This _charade_?"

Her grip tightened around the glass she was scrubbing and she hoped he didn't notice. In vain.

He frowned again. "Still denying, are you? He might be fooled by you, but believe me I am not."

Darcy cleared her throat and stared down at the dirty water.

"I don't know what you mean. Dan is a good man, very understanding, he works hard..."

Loki clicked his tongue. "In short, boring."

Darcy looked over her shoulder and shot him a reproaching glance. "I'd call it reliability. Something other people lack."

"Do you love him, then?"

His question came out of the blue, all of a sudden.

Darcy swallowed and turned her face away from him again.

"You don't have the right to ask me such questions. You lost that right long, long time ago."

As much as she tried, she could not banish the ache from her voice.

"I'll take that as a no.", was Loki's reply.

"Take it as whatever you wish." _Like you cared._

Out of the corners of her eyes, she saw him shaking his head in disbelief. "I don't recognize you anymore. How could you settle for this? You used to be so passionate, so vivid. A fury sometimes. _My_ fury.", he added.

A lump built in her throat. It had been his nickname for her. His fury. She had been his fury when she had screamt at him, when she had hated him for doing what he did, when she had chided him, when she had laid in his arms after their love-making.

_What is it that annoys you more, the fact that he uses the name or the fact that your stomach drops and your heart gallops at the sound of it?_

Her voice only a whisper, she said "I am not your fury anymore." Sorrow covered her voice much more than she would have liked it to.

Within seconds, he stood behind her, his hands covering hers and she let go of the dishes in her hands. She quivered at his proximity and realised it felt as if he had never been gone.

She internally chided her silly heart for relaxing under his touch but she did it in vain.

His lips stroke her ear lobe and she felt his chest rise and sink against her back, his breath caressing her cheek.

His fingers intertwined with hers and Darcy leant back against him, her mind clouded with longing and memories flooding her mind.

_You missed him. Much more than you'd admit._

Loki pulled at her hands and wrapped their arms around her, fingers still enlaced.

"You will always be mine, girl. I thought I made that clear."

Unbearable.

She turned in his arms and with one leap, she reached up to his face, her hands searching their way around his neck and she pulled him down into an affectionate embrace while she pressed her lipsonto his.

It took him only a split-second to realise what had changed. Gently, he lifted her up and she sat down on the counter, him standing between her legs so they were face to face.

With a liquid sigh, she opened her mouth against his and by the way he kissed her deeply, she knew he had missed her as much as she missed him.

A little voice in her head warned her of falling for him again. But she hushed it impatiently. _Again? _It felt as if she had never stopped falling. It had simply been buried by her, a desperate act of self-preservation. It had hurt too much when he had left. Maybe she fell in her own opinion for falling again but with this one kiss, he made her whole again.

Still, she could not shake her worries. Had he changed in the course of the time that had passed? Was he still the same?

Was she?

The kiss lasted hours, maybe seconds, to Darcy it was still too short. It had brought back all the memories of how he was able to spark her passion.

Heavily breathing, he pulled his head back, only a little bit, and searched her gaze.

No-one said a word but they a silent conversation was held between them, Loki realising her hesitation, Darcy shoving it away and making way for her want for him, him asking for her permission, her allowing him to.

His hands reached behind her knees and he pulled her closer to him, her chest pressing against his and his thorough fingers brushed up her legs, dipping underneath the skirt she wore.

She pressed a kiss on his perfect cheekbones and he closed his eyes with pleasure. Her skirt was pulled up over her backside and she tended to his shirt, swiftly undoing button by button, and let it drop on the floor.

Her hands over her head, he helped her get out of her thin sweater. His fingers resting on her collarbone, he slightly pushed her down until she arched her back, dragging his lips across her chest and the gape between her breast as if he tasted her drumming heart.

Then, with one deft movement, he removed her bra and exposed her light ivory skin.

Darcy sat up again, scratching her nails across his lean chest and dropping her hands to his trousers. She impatiently tugged at the belt while he scratched his teeth along her neck, caressing the sensitive skin right beneath her ear.

His pants finally removed, she drew him in for another passionate kiss while she felt his hands dipping into her panties, tugging them down her legs until they silently slid off her feet.

The feeling of their bare skin, his usual coolness against the heat radiating from her body, was so familiar it hurt.

Had she ever been somewhere else than in his arms? Had there ever been someone else who had touched her the way he did?

She knew the answer. _No, not at all._

The tips of his fingers gently slid down her back, found hold on her waist and they both faced each other when they became one.

No thought was left in her head, no coherent one could be formed from that second on, except for one.

"Loki.", she moaned.


	4. Complement

_Darcy._

While his hips moved, first gently, then as the tension inside him increased, more and more demanding and rapidly, there was only one word that flooded his head. Her name. She was in everything he felt, in everything he did, whether he wanted her to or not.

Her proximity, her scent, her moans, the direct gaze of her sapphire eyes, they were intoxicating.

His siren, his fury, his woman.

How could he ever have doubted that she was truly his, his alone?

He remembered quite distinctly how jealousy had run through his veins when, after months of punishment, he had come back to her, hoping to find her waiting for him as faithful as she always had been. He had found her and waited hidden in the shadows to surprise his lover only to find another man by her side.

Blinded by wrath and by hatred he had wanted to kill both of them. Him for his insolence – and her for her betrayal. It had taken all his limited patience to keep himself hidden and not to lash out to the _happy couple_ and destroy the happiness he saw. The happiness that he had craved to have with her.

But it had taken him only a few moments to realise that he had not been replaced as he had feared.

Au contraire. The way he touched her, the way she had looked at him and reacted to him – pure emptiness.

As his thrust grew stronger, his lover started shaking. Her quivering thighs were pressed to his sides, her muscles contracting and loosening while her nails dug into his chest, making him growl like an animal.

Feeling her around him, him inside her and the way she clung to him only proved what he had known immediately upon realising how little she cared for her new companion. She needed him, wanted him as much as he wanted and needed her.

As destructive and dangerously passionate their relationship had always been, it was still perfection.

He grabbed her backside and pulled her closer, fervently pressing his mouth onto hers, silencing her moans with his own lips.

The edge almost there, he let go of her mouth again, pressing his cheek against hers so that he could hear her groans loud and clear.

He was so beautiful it hurt, so unbearably perfect.

Feeling him so close to her reminded Darcy of what she had missed the whole time.

He was dominating her in an unparalleled way. He demanded and she willingly gave all she could give, receiving a completeness in return she could not find anywhere else.

And still, in all his domination she felt the traces of tenderness. In every thrust, in every touch he conveyed his love for her.

He let go of her lips and she felt his cold cheek against her flushed one, his breath stroking the shell of her ear.

"Darcy-", he whispered into hear ear, mirroring how both of them were the one thing on each others' mind.

And then, they were completely one, together reaching their high, her nails digging into his neck, his hands clinging to her hips, hearts racing in both chests as if trying to break their cage.


	5. A Promise

Gradually, both caught their breath. Darcy laid her head down on Loki's strong shoulder, pressing a kiss to his neck before resting. He circled his arms around her waist, burying his head in her silken hair, inhaling her fragrance.

_This is what true peace must be, _Darcy mused. She had not felt this happy in, well, months.

A trace of bitterness clouded her thoughts. She had hoped, god knows she had hoped that, after it had become clear that he would fail in his plans, he would lay down his dark intentions to stay with her.

How she had yelled at him, had told him there was no way he would win, had cursed him for choosing to pursue the way of evil instead of listening to her, of giving up, of choosing her.

Then he had left, had not returned from his havoc-bringing trip to New York and she had to find out from his brother that he had been taken to Asgard.

_So this is what he has chosen over me?_, was her only thought. He had rather exposed himself to his father's wrath than to be the bigger man, the bigger man _by her side._

Weeks later she had met Dan, who was funny, cute, oddly predictable and obviously really interested in her. And she liked him, too. To her, he had meant an unfamiliar safety.

Darcy lifted her head to look into a pair of mesmerizing green eyes, fathomless emeralds.

But this? This was more. Not just liking, not just being content. This was consummation, to all the extent her heart could give, something she would always choose over any safer option. And it made her forgive him.

His lips nuzzled her neck and pulled her out of her thoughts.

It was then she realised they were still naked.

With one movement, Darcy freed herself out of Loki's embrace, slid off the counter, only to be pushed back by him.

"What do you think you are doing, dear?"

_Dear._ He called her dear again. Butterflies twirled in her stomach and she had a hard time controlling them.

"I wanted to get dressed.", she replied simply.

It was impossible not to look at him, a perfectly shaped god right between her legs – naked.

And now that good-looking bastard was smiling naughtily.

"But why would you do that? I was just enjoying my view."

Darcy bit her lip. He sure did. But how long would he enjoy her? And was that all _he_ wanted? Enjoying her?

He had said she belonged to him, that she knew.

But what else? Would he be leaving her again?

Loki cupped her face with his slender hands and stared into her eyes, reading her as if she was an open book.

The sides of his thin lips pulled up into a grin as he read the expressions on her face.

He bowed his head and kissed her with a tenderness that melted her heart, his lips softly on her, carrying a promise that she understood without words.

He would not leave her ever again.

She leant into the kiss, adding a little side note to his promise.

She simply would never let him leave again.


	6. Epilogue Breaking Up, Making Up

A/N: Since many of you requested an epilogue tying up the loose ends... Here you go, I hope, you enjoy it.  
Soundtrack: No Doubt "Don't Speak" (until the line), afterwards The Verve "Love Is Noise"

Enjoy!

* * *

The shift had been long and exhausting as well. Two smaller fires in one night were unbearably much work for a team that only consisted of so little men.

Dan was happy to come home, finally.

He closed the door behind him and, to his surprise, their was still light in the kitchen.

"Honey?", he asked silently.

"In here.", a throaty voice answered.

With a shaky heart, he entered the kitchen only to find Darcy sitting at the table, staring at him. Why had she been crying?

His first impulse was to smile at her and give her a kiss, an attempt to lighten her mood. But the look on her face kept him from moving.

Something was wrong.

She was completely dressed, even wearing a coat. Why was she wearing a coat?

The suitcase next to her feet caught his attention.

Dan swallowed.

_No._

Darcy followed his glance and got up from her seat, her car keys in her hands.

His shoulders stiffened.

"I don't suppose you are preparing to move in with me, are you?" He was surprised how calm he was.

Darcy lowered her gaze.

"Dan, I am sorry. I am sorry to have mislead you and to have stringed you along. It is not working between the two of us. We are too different." She wiped her eyes, new tears dwelling at the corners of them. "This sounds like a lame excuse but it is the utter truth."

"I thought, we were happy..." The words were spoken before he could stop himself. They sounded like a child's comment.

Darcy brushed her dark tresses back.

"I...", she stopped, reconsidering her words. "I don't think I will love you as much as you deserve."

"Is there someone else?" Again, his mouth spilled out what he had only wanted to think. He didn't even know whether he wanted to know the truth.

Darcy looked into his eyes, almost desperately. "Believe me, I never intended to hurt you. But I think I fooled myself thinking there could ever be room for someone else than him."

She was telling the truth, he could tell. Which didn't make it any better.

A cold realization shook him and jealousy froze his heart.

"It is him, isn't it?"

Darcy furrowed her brows. "Who...?", but he interrupted her.

"The one who left you one year ago. Who left you devastated and hurt." He could not help but sound much sharper than he had wanted to.

Darcy flinched at his words but nodded.

Dan shook his head in disbelief. "Darcy, are you serious? If you don't want to be with me, fine, go ahead. But going back to him? _I _remember how miserable you were back then, don't you? And this is what you choose?"

He didn't want to take out his anger on her, he really didn't. Just the thought of her, returning to whoever had hurt her so much...

To his great surprise, she did not start crying again or seemed shocked bis his sudden anger.

She only looked at him, sadly.

"I know what he has done and I did not forget how I felt. But this is nothing compared to the loneliness I feel without him."

Dan bristled with anger. "The loneliness I could not undo?", he replied bitterly.

Darcy swallowed deeply and somehow she regretted what she had said. Dan didn't deserve that.

Quickly trying to blink away the tears burning in her eyes, she bent to pick up her suitcase and walked over to him.

"I hope you will forgive me, one day.", she whispered throatily. Then she placed a timid kiss on his cheek. He remained still, neither looking at her not replying to her touch.

He closed his eyes and heard her last steps through the hall.

Then the door fell shut.

* * *

Darcy let herself drop into the seat of her car.

And let the tears stream down her face.

_Great. Just peachy. That went just the way is was not planned._

She felt like a piece of crap. Heartless, cruel, insensitive crap.

Sob after sob burst out of her mouth, shaking her and making her lungs hurt.

Her head dropped to the steering wheel and her fingers scratched her temples.

Fine, long fingers pulled at her wrists and when she lifted her head, she saw Loki through her blurred vision, sitting on the passenger seat.

Darcy threw herself into his chest and his strong arms pulled her as close as they could.

"I...I...", she started but could not finish.

Loki hushed her and stroke the back her head.

"I know. But you did the right thing. You said so yourself, he deserved to know."

He lifted her face and looked into her eyes while his thumbs wiped away the tears from her face.

Darcy swallowed again, ignoring the pain in her throat.

He cupped her face with his palms and gently kissed her forehead.

Suddenly Darcy felt ashamed. _She was happy for crying out loud_, or rather supposed to be happy.

Loki was here. He was here with her. And he would not leave again.

Still, the self-loath because of Dan gnawed at her.

In a strange way, she knew it had been the right thing to do. She had first thought about just going, leaving only a note behind, or a message on the answering machine.

But that would have been cowardly. And she was no coward.

Loki's own scent swirled in her head and calmed her, easing the pain she felt.

She leant over, her lips brushing his, almost teasingly. His mouth met hers and they shared a salty, sloppy kiss.

This was what she wanted. And it helped her endure even her own self-loath.

Darcy sat back in her seat, wiped her face from the remaining tears and smiled a lopsided smile at her beautiful man.

"Well, enough with the tears. Now tell me, how exactly are we going to spent all eternity?", she asked, rather jokingly.

Loki gave her a smile so wonderful that her heart stumbled for a second.

"Together, of course."

Darcy grinned and started the engine.

She could not wait.


End file.
